How to go to your Start Menu. (Keyboard)(Sequel)

XxDementeixX

FS Member
BEFOREHAND
Ok so, on our last amazing adventure of rape, we talked about the quest on moving your mouse and thrusting your finger onto the left mouse button and allowing the start menu to say, "Pop up!"

PREAMBLE
So now, we're going to investigate the most intense way of "popping up" our Winblows Start Menu. (WSM)
USING THE MUTHAR FKING KEYBOARD...FKIGN INSANE AMIRIGHT!?!? YES YOU HEARD ME...THE KEYBOARD!!..

PROCESS
Okai, I know you are all fkin pumped up n shit but you really need to calm down. Calm?..I said..are you calm? OKAI. Gewd. So LET's begin.

1. After logging into your retarded Winblows User Account (WCA) you now should be loading your desktop.
2. Your desktop should be now complete, and you are going to need to window space for our start menu.
3. So exit every single program/process except for explorer.exe
4. After that's complete go rape donkey leg.
5. Excuse my language of the last step, I meant to say to make sure your desk is completely cleared of any objects, for this next step will require great amount of force. Security factor.
SO FAR! We have our blank desktop and our physical desk. So now it it just about time to make our move.
7. Next we will locate our Windblows Key. It is the 2nd key located next to the large bar that looks like it could just slide up and eat all the letters on your keyboard.
8. SEE IT?!??! It looks like a fking retarded scewed window (they phailed at making it look like it was blowing in the wind liek a fking flag..wtf who does that?)
9. Srsly, it's not a flag. It's barely a window. There's no window to make it blow. Wtf.
10. Anyhow, there are appromately TWO WINBLOWZ KEYZ. Next to the keys labeled "Alt" or "Alternative."
11. Now that we have our Winblows key located (PICK ONE OF THE TWO, ITS NOT THAT FKIN HARD!) I prefer the left one of the left side of the keyboard on the left of the big fking slider bar bullshit.
12. Okai so, DON'T TOUCH YOUR SELECTED WINBLOWS KEY JUST YET!!! We must inspect it.
13. Check to see if there are any keymines under it. You may need to get a chainsaw (not rusty) or a screwdriver to carefully take apart the keyboard and to look under it properly.
14. After that, you may GENTLY LAY your INDEX FINGER on top of the key, so you are even able to feel the engravement of the winblow.
15. Next go ahead and GENTLY PRESS IN THE KEY, DONT PRESS IT TOO HARD OR IT WILL BREAK WINBLOW.
16. AHHH SHIT AHHHH FUUCKK!! WHATS THAT!??!?! IT'S STUCK!?!?!? OMGAWSH!!, MOUNTAIN DEW SPILLED ALLL OVER YOUR KEYS AND YOUR WINBLOW KEY HAS BEEN COMPLETELY DESTROYED.
17. NEXT, YOU MUST TAKE OUT YOUR VERY LARGE 50FT GOLD LAYERED HAMMER OF BLACK MAN SLAY. YES, YU HERD ME! BLACK MAN SLAY!
18. AND gently, just so gently tap the winblows key so it is able to be pressed inwards.
19. Now when that is done you should here a rubber-like material being pressed in as it was pressed. Lol. LOL, asi t was pressed..being pressed. OKAI, NEXT!
20. FINALLY, you have DONE IT! Your WSM has showed up. It "Popped up!"

Now when your friends are over, you can show them your large 50ft gold hammer and the investment you will be getting on it.

And..how you opened your Start Menu with a press of a simple Winblow key.
I hope you enjoyed reading this tutorial of rape. I'm thirsty.:mad::mad:

LOL:eek::eek::mad::eek::rolleyes: riat..
 
WOW, this tutorial is completly POINTLESS. For someone to find this tutorial, i would assume that you would have opened the start menu and pressed internet or used the shortcut on your taskbar. It can't be that hard to work out!!!

Your next tutorial: How to press A on a keyboard :D
 

Similar threads

Back
Top